Advice is Only as Good as the Person Who Gives It: Insights from a babyshower

CLICK HERE to review the referenced tone of the young City Beat writer attempting to frame his article about me as being “out-of-step” with the rest of society because of my loud declaration that progressives do not belong in America. I have heard and read on more than one occasion that my “intolerance” of those who are different from me displays that I am an extremist. To these critics they consider it “intolerance” if I show that I disagree with their life choices. What they don’t realize is that in asking me to accept their life choices they are often asking me to support them financially—through public school education that teaches sexual diversity to young people at too early of an age—they want me to invest in their public transportation systems—they want me to work while they draw mandated government unemployment—they want me to pay for their healthcare while they sit around all day playing Xbox. In short, they expect to leech off me, and they expect me to be happy about it.

I have always had the gift of clarity in knowing exactly where I am and where I want to go. I do not need GPS devices to get anywhere in the world, and I certainly have never utilized the advice of professional councilors for personal direction. My long known mantra has been, “Advice is only as good as the person who gives it.” What that means is you can’t expect to get good advice from a bad person. But to understand what a bad person is, you must have the guts to call bad behavior—bad. For instance, do not ask marriage advice from someone who’s divorced. Don’t ask career advice from a person who’s middle-aged and obviously unhappy. And don’t ask financial advice from an habitual gambler. You can’t make potato chips out of ice cream. Bad people are bad people. Good people are good people. People who claim life is all about shades of gray are trying to sell swampland in New York City—it doesn’t exist. It’s a rationalization to disguise personal bad behavior with traces of good looted from others.

When I was in public school and had to speak to guidance councilors as part of the “education experience,” I had three of them declare that I had too many interests and that I would have to narrow those down to skills that would provide the best occupation for my future. My response to those people then and to all people since has been—why? I explained to them when no answer was produced other than “that’s just how things are done” that society would falter if people built their lives around their career. My reasoning was that the indication from the guidance councilors was that the individual serves society by picking a career that benefited the collective sum and that is the primary fault of the progressive. My position is that I did not serve society, but society benefited by the various talents I developed out of my own self interest. This position has put me at odds with many progressive types who find such a statement abominable. I would point much of the misery of today toward this diabolical notion that individuals serve society instead of society benefiting from individual diversity. Among progressives, women have suffered most in this belief. Traditional American women used to forgo formal careers in favor of raising their children and while they did this they exercised skills from budget management to culinary excellence along with everything in between to the direct benefit of their families which became the sum of their talents.

These days many women actually brag about how bad they cook, or that they have no idea what to do with a needle and thread. This is their way of declaring to the world that they are “modern” women who have important careers that exceed the importance of those “traditional” skills. They will declare that they make so much money that they can “purchase” what they need, so have no reason to learn or master any skill that does not contribute to their careers. These same people are the primary types who vote in favor of school levies. They require public education to provide for their children the skills they are not teaching because they are too busy with their own lives. So in the typical progressive fashion they require people like me to provide a means for them through tax money to live out their false progressive fantasy—that they can dedicate their lives to a career without destroying their families in the process.

What progressives never have learned is that children learn from individuals within their families, and the better the individuals—the more diverse they are, the more there is for a child to be exposed to, making that child a well-rounded adult. This learning cannot be duplicated in the classroom. Certain things can be taught in a classroom, but a school cannot substitute the effect of successful parents and grandparents in a child’s life. With all the efforts progressives have attempted in order to destroy the American family they have never solved the basic problem that their way will 100% of the time create empty shells of people when they reach adulthood who are easily bored and easy to steer due to their lack of personal convictions.

All this is on my mind because in my family we have always gone against that progressive grain. When I was younger it was hard, because nobody understood what my wife and I were trying to do. But now that my children are grown up and my oldest daughter was giving a baby shower to my youngest daughter the results of the way we raised our family are easy to see as we prepared to welcome my first grandson to the world.

The pictures shown here are from the decorations my wife primarily, and my daughter along with her friends made for the baby shower. Most everything was handmade including the table cloths. My wife made those because she could not purchase the exact size and color she wanted for the party. My wife wanted everything to be just right, so she made what she needed because the desire was intended to welcome our grandson to the world with as much individuality as possible and that starts with our daughter. Her baby shower needed to be tailored just to her as much as possible to begin that process.

The cake seen in these pictures was made completely by my wife. She even made the monkey and the palm trees. Everything on the cake was edible. The photographs were done by my oldest daughter. The motorcycle made out of diapers and baby rags was made by my oldest daughter also. The pyramid of diapers was made by my daughters’ best friend from childhood who we helped raise. But the primary gift was the baby blanket made by my wife for her new grandson.

As I have said before, when my wife made me the American Flag blanket for my birthday a few years back, she makes blankets for every child born into our family. That extends to cousins and the children of our nieces and nephews. She has made many dozens and dozens of blankets over the years, but for her first grandchild she really outdid herself. The blanket is immaculately hand-made in every detail by her for her first grandchild.

People are shocked to learn that my wife does so many different things. It makes me proud to see her shine as brightly as she did at that baby shower. I know she personally put 6 weeks of preparation in for that party. She takes her role as a grandmother extremely serious and all the grandchildren that are born into our family will benefit greatly. Over the years when people have tried to make me and her feel bad that she didn’t have a career I would try to explain to them that I wanted my wife to wake up in the morning on her terms and go to bed on her terms. I didn’t want the corruption of a boss to influence her life, to alter the direction of our meals, our clothing, or the quality of our existence. I like that she has all day to shop at the grocery store and has time to pick the best prices for our items between Costco, Walmart, Meyer and Kroger. I have often joked that she has saved us more money over the years then she could have ever made in a career. Because she has time to do things right, the quality for our whole family is much higher because of her.

We were in Gatlinburg last weekend which is known for its crafts. Outside one of their many craft stores an old woman was quilting a blanket on the sidewalk so people could watch as they went by. I noticed that it always seems to be older women who do these kinds of things. The young girls aimlessly stand around proud of their lack of skill; because they have been taught that it’s cool to be unskilled and dim-witted—unless they have a specific skill that serves society. Even if the girls are quite intelligent, they still pretend to be thoughtless because they’ve been taught to hide their intelligence in favor of social norms. I remember how badly people spoke about my wife who gave up a potential career as a fashion model so that she could be married and have children that she could make blankets for. People would say to her that she could have anything in the world that she wanted, and when she’d say that she did have it—they just couldn’t figure out what she meant.

“Don’t you want to lay naked on the deck of a yacht covered in gold and diamond jewelry given to you by a rich man?” This is what people close to my wife would say to her when she was younger. She’d reply, “No.” What those people never understood, and are just now beginning to see is that she would have rather made those things herself. That the value she received in her life was not the envy of other women when she’d show her social status by exhibiting elaborate jewelry in public gained by her looks. She would rather have the man she wants, and live by her own terms so that her children could become great by their own definitions—which is the only definition that matters.

People don’t want to believe it, but there is no quick way out of raising children. You cannot purchase respect from young people. Young people grow up to become the sum of their experiences, and if the family is not a strong one, the child is greatly handicapped. Government in no way, especially in public education, fills the void of complacency. Barack Obama may be president, but he was nurtured along by progressive politics as the poster child for government programs, largely due to him coming from a broken home. The advocates of progressive politics were more interested in Obama being a minority candidate that studied public education abroad and was a global citizen. They didn’t care that Obama’s father was a revolutionary, his mentor a communist and his mother a broken woman raised by broken people. Obama is the sum of his family, which is why he thinks there must always be someone in government to help you along. Well, in my family, we don’t need government. We pay for our roads in the gas taxes, and we pay for our military with income taxes. But everything else my family can do better than any government agency and that includes self-defense and education.

When I show my anger at progressives, and suggest that they don’t belong in America, it’s in this context. They clearly don’t understand the self-reliance that has always been a part of the American experience. Often that self-reliance is taught to us not by the men of our families but by the women, who are our first impressions of the world around us as babies. A mother who makes blankets, gourmet meals, clothing, table cloths, wonderful flower beds, and is the pinnacle influence in the entire family provide stability that has far more value than the person who does one or two things only and hires out everything else to specialists to do for them. This is the big difference in an America at war between progressive philosophy that leaves people empty emotional husks, and traditional value that has been made to appear “uncool” but ironically contains the key to all the lasting influences society needs to hold itself together. The progressive way is a path to destruction, both socially and personally, and that is why I say, they should not be in America. I don’t say it to be mean, but out of personal experience. It’s time to stop kidding ourselves and face the music that there is only one path to success within a family, and it starts with a good mother who works hard to be that way, and is good at virtually everything. Young people want and need someone to look up to, and that begins with mothers and grandmothers who do for themselves what society cannot do for them, and that means building their life to individual tastes and not bending their lives around what society provides.

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Rich Hoffman
https://overmanwarrior.wordpress.com/2010/12/04/ten-rules-to-live-by/
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