This is really embarrassing. The next thing we will likely learn about Sheriff Jones, my neighbor and local sheriff, who sells himself like a modern John Wayne, is that he’s getting pedicures and facials at a local Wal-Mart nail salon. I really didn’t want to believe this when I first saw it. I was hoping that it was some kind of Hollywood special effect. But no, it’s true—it’s really him and a reasonable number of public employees who are wearing the uniform of the Butler County police. Using the Super Bowl as an excuse to send what they thought was a “hip” public message, Sheriff Jones and his rag-tag team of highly paid ass kissers put out a video dancing to show how metrosexual they were which I thought was astoundingly childish. It’s the kind of thing you’d see from a bunch of stupid kids, not a sophisticated sheriff’s department that is supposed to command the respect of the world because of his national platform. Of course here’s how the local media covered the story. Women naturally think it’s cute, men aren’t sure—it is awkward.
Let me give a little context, tough guys don’t dance. They don’t sit around crying over things, they don’t wallow in emotion, and they don’t dance. Young men do sometimes when they are looking for a female to mate with, but men—real men secure in their testosterone driven utterances—don’t dance. It’s not cute. It’s not hip. It doesn’t earn “cool” points with the younger generation. All it does is compromise authority. It makes no sense.
Of course modern women who embrace feminism love it when men dance, because it shows them that their male counterparts are willing to be more open-minded and expressive with their bodies. People who dance show that they are willing to compromise their individual integrity for collective rituals of expression—and women tend to be naturally included toward more social acceptance than men. Women seem quite at home dancing in a club or at a wedding touching each other in expressive ways as men tend to stand along the wall with their hands in their pockets. Men would rather be shooting guns or playing cards—doing something mildly competitive that they can beat another man at—just for fun. They don’t typically enjoy shaking their bodies in suggestive ways to evoke the approval of collective consciousness.
When Donald Trump danced on Saturday Night Live he did it with a strategy to appeal more to women who currently find him “too scary.” But Donald Trump isn’t a sheriff—he’s a businessman. He did lose points with me on that SNL skit—because I would never do something like that under any kind of pressure. Dancing for men is off-limits. It’s not something any man should ever do. It’s stupid. Now slow dancing with a woman may be acceptable so long as the man doesn’t have to rock their hips in some sexually provocative fashion. Even then, it’s not something I would do. I’ve danced with my wife at our wedding, 25 years ago, one slow dance. I danced with a family member at my brother’s wedding a few decades ago-the same-because I was a member of the wedding party. And that’s it. At both of my daughter’s weddings, we skipped the daddy/daughter dance. I’m sure they’d like it sometimes if I was more physically expressive–but that’s just not appropriate for a man to exhibit. Prior to meeting my wife, I went to a few dance clubs to meet girls, and I was good at it. I was even a fashion model for a period of time and was hired to dance around a swarm of really attractive women on stage to David Lee Roth’s “Just a Gigolo.” Yet the moment I met my wife, I dropped that life in less than a second, because I didn’t like it. To me, the only reason a man would dance would be to land a female into his bed. That is absolutely the only reason. Once you are married, or even have a steady mate, men should never dance in public or private.
Dancing is a form of collectivism and it’s a disgusting enterprise. Surrendering the mind to the beat of the music is not a smart thing to do. Letting the music take control of your mind and body is to surrender your individual sovereignty. Dancing is not a thinking endeavor. When a room full of people surrender thought to the beat of the music it is not a beautiful thing. It’s a thing of disgust. It’s tribal—and in an American capitalist society where thought should be king, dancing is a treacherous social value that leads its participants toward collectivism instead of individual merit.
I’ve heard the saying, real men are not afraid to express themselves. Those are the same idiots who say that men should not be afraid to wear pink, and that it’s OK to cry in public—or private. Let me tell you something dear reader. Real men don’t wear pink, they don’t cry—ever, and they certainly don’t dance. Never. Metrosexuals dance, gay guys dance, and men who have had their testosterone evaporate from their bodies dance to show that they aren’t too old to be like the cool young people at weddings. But real men don’t dance. Dancing is not an activity of thinking. It is an act of collectivism, of yielding to whoever the artist is. A dance floor is a socialist enterprise where sweaty bodies mingle in collective effort toward the goal of assimilation. It’s not cute or funny.
Sometimes people think I’m too hard on public employees such as the local police. Sheriff Jones and his staff obviously didn’t have anything else to do with their time but to coordinate that video—which obviously took some time. I’m sure he’ll say that the whole thing was done on a volunteer basis and everyone was off-duty, at least I’d hope he’d lie to me about that. Because if any of those people were on duty at the time, we have some big problems and the staffing levels need to be adjusted—because we are paying too much for our police department.
There is another element to dancing that involves race. People of color, particularly from the African continent do have a natural inclination to dance. This is not good. I am not impressed with Cam Newton’s “dance moves” on the football field. A quick look economically at Africa indicates that what I have said about dancing is one hundred percent correct. Every country in Africa is suffering under some form of socialism—or collective based social interaction. On their own, the people of Africa are not inventing things, building businesses, or advancing their lives forward away from the dances they use to invoke spiritual aid and mystical persuasion. People from those cultures may dance well—but that is not a skill that advances mankind toward individualism and invention—because invention does not come from collective effort, only individual aptitude. So pandering toward people of race as a “stiff” whitey only makes people like Sheriff Jones look like an idiot—not a man of compromise in showing that he’s not too good to “bust some moves” so to appeal toward members of our community who still think men dancing is cool.
Men, it’s not OK to dance. Women may want you to, and race groups might put peer pressure on you to do so—but it’s not acceptable. Sheriff Jones made a serious mistake toward the institution of manhood in doing what he did. He may be socially confused, or his testosterone levels may be dropping to the point where he’s more estrogen these days than testosterone, but either way, it was very embarrassing. If I were a goon, a punk or a creep looking to sell drugs in Butler County, or to traffic stolen young girls—or even to loot the wealth of homes in the area—Sheriff Jones and his Super Bowl antics would invite me toward indiscretion instead of providing a deterrent. Having a bounty on your head from Mexican drug lords is a manly thing to have. But dancing like a metrosexual from the Butler County Jail—that is just not acceptable.
Rich “Cliffhanger” Hoffman
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