Lynn Yaeger from Vogue Magazine: An elephant’s ass that sat in a cake and painted itself like a Cabbage Patch Doll

I certainly had one of those, “what the fu** moments when I saw her picture—or whatever it was.  At first I thought I was looking at Joan the Hutt, a loser politician from my area who is trying to run for trustee in West Chester, but at a second glance I learned that it was the Vogue magazine editor Lynn Yaeger.   I had heard that name before but I’ll have to admit, I thought the people at Vogue would be all physically beautiful people who knew something about the fashion world.  What I discovered about Lynn Yaeger was that she was a train wreck of obvious mental depravity.  Nobody in their right mind would go out into public looking the way she does and then attempt to hide it behind some insane fashion sense. She looks like some dude dressed in drag made up like a Cabbage Patch Kid who was homeless—and it was THIS person who started all the crap about how Melania dressed in high heels to visit the storm region of Texas for an assessment of relief.  When I read this from an article that Lynn wrote as I received a notification on my phone in the middle of an important meeting, because of the nature of the news, I stopped to wonder what kind of person this Yaeger person was.  Here is what she said:

Oh, Melania.

In the words of the late, great Lou Reed, you “couldn’t hit it sideways.”

First the now–First Lady (perhaps unwittingly) plagiarizes Michelle Obama in her convention speech, then she takes as her platform a crusade against bullying—when she is married to unquestionably the greatest cyber bully in political history—and now this!

This morning, Mrs. Trump boarded Air Force One wearing a pair of towering pointy-toed snakeskin heels better suited to a shopping afternoon on Madison Avenue or a girls’ luncheon at La Grenouille.

My first impression was that Lynn Yaeger was some jealous rival hot chick from the fashion world that might know something because she was from Vogue magazine.  In that context I might have thought that Melania was dressing a bit too Top Gun.  Melania and I are roughly the same age, so she would have been in high school when Top Gun came out in movie theaters and it was a movie that left quite an impression on our generation.  I thought Melania looked very attractive and I liked the way she dressed—but that maybe I thought that because my taste was formed during the 80s when that would have been considered worthy dress for a movie poster for an action adventure film. I had no idea that the person writing the article looked like something someone shit on Duval Street outside a drag queen nightclub in Key West.  I was amazed.

It’s not that it’s right to pass judgment on the way someone looks, but Lynn brought it all up in her Vogue article by talking about “optics.”  Ah, what about the optics at Vogue having one of their start editors walking around New York looking like some kid dressed up like a homeless Cabbage Patch Doll complete with the painted on rosy cheeks?  I mean even if she dressed that way for Halloween it would be inappropriate, let alone trying to sell that look on the city streets of New York.

I tried to watch a few interviews with Lynn Yaeger trying to understand her, and listening to her talk, and I’d say I agree with her about a lot of things.  People should have the right to dress the way they want and to look at their outward appearance as a kind of adventure.  I heard her mention that she goes to Paris often as if knowing that should somehow place her on some rung of un-judged fashion sense—like she knows more than we do about eccentric fashion and should just take her word for it.  But then she thinks she gets to pass judgment on other people’s looks when she obviously has some psychological problems from which she’s functioning.  Paris is a dump in its present form.  If the beautiful fashion models like Melania are what come from Paris I might cut them a little slack for being an armpit of social culture and reckless abandonment of logic.  But if Lynn Yaeger is at home there, we need to rethink letting Paris be considered one of the great historic cities of the world.  The message from the fashion world is grossly hypocritical in America.  If Melania came to any town other than New York, Chicago and San Francisco dressed in those high heels, a bomber jacket and aviator sunglasses, she’d rival the beautiful women cut out on the tool boxes of any mechanic, or hot rod builder’s garage anywhere.  If Melania walked down the street dressed that way everyone would stop and admire how beautiful she was—guys and girls alike.  That’s fashion.  If Lynn Yaeger walked down those same streets everyone would laugh—everyone.  Most people would find her utterly revolting and it wouldn’t go unchecked.   There’s obviously something wrong with Yaeger so that begs the question—why does Vogue allow her to do that—look the way she does?

This just goes to show how politically radical the media industry is, they won’t pass judgment on a fashion editor from Vogue but they will a hot Republican fashion model who is married to the current president of the United States.  If Melania were a Democrat in the White House we’d hear every day how beautiful she was—that’s what people did with Michelle Obama.  We heard all the time what a beautiful person she was, which I thought was odd because I looked at her and there wasn’t anything attractive biologically about her.  I mean that’s what we’re talking about in regards to fashion.  The whole point of it is to increase your supernormal sign stimuli in an effort to attract people who to want to have sex with you.  It’s a purely biological response to the members of the human race.  When women put on make-up and apply perfume—guys too with cologne, they are announcing that they want to be found attractive.  They may not want to have sex in the elevator or actually cheat on their spouse—but they want you to look and smell them.  It makes them feel good to be noticed for whatever personal reason they are doing it.  That’s why women wear ear rings—it is a supernormal accentuation to their natural appearance and it increases the visibility of that part of a woman’s face.  A push-up bra obviously is designed to increase the way breasts look.  Biologically it says to potential mates that this is a woman who can give birth and raise children.  Boobs are supposed to be something that people want to play with during sex in order to get them working properly for feeding babies once born.  As intellectual beings we play with these images to increase or decrease our attractiveness—and we call that fashion.   Lynn would argue that it’s all self-expression, but ultimately, it’s about manipulating our attractiveness in public settings.

Melania, a fashion model who was very successful knew what she was doing and for the monster truck drivers in Texas who were running around trying to rescue people, she was trying to give them something they wanted-something beautiful to look at when everything else around them was miserable.  It doesn’t mean she wanted to sleep with anybody, but it was her way of giving the world a beautiful flower to look at when they needed it most.  We do the same as human beings, we pick flowers for arrangements in our homes and offices—that doesn’t mean we want to pollinate the flowers the way bees do—but the primal necessity toward attractiveness is rooted in the biological element so the presentation of a flower usually has a healing quality to it rooted in the traditions of sex and reproduction.

Lynn Yaeger is rebelling against the biological nature of attractiveness purposefully and it is all part of the progressive platform of taking society beyond the logic of natural assumptions and attempting to destroy deep held beliefs so to encourage interracial relationships, same sex circumstances, transgender acceptance and even group sex as norms in the options available to human beings because if those politically active magazine editors can change the way we view sex and relationships then people might accept new political ideas too.  After all, there are a fair number of men who might be inclined to have voted for Hillary Clinton if it meant they could be in an orgy with a bunch of hippie chicks that might not smell so good, but were sexually adventurous.  Then again, there are a lot of women who will do anything for front row seats to a Rascal Flatts concert, so ultimately the progressive strategy will fail when applied to general human endeavor.  When it comes down to biology the rules aren’t complicated, people use sex to get what they want and if you have something desired—sex will happen often and very creatively.  If you increase your super normal sign stimuli, then you’ll get even more chances.  For women its ear rings, breast size, long hair, an accent on the eyes to make them look bigger, lip stick to make you want to put things in the mouth—whatever.  For men its small hips and wide shoulders, it’s the way they smell, it’s the kind of confidence they emit through body language.  But what Lynn is doing at Vogue is saying that “I’m so ugly that I’m going to rebel against human nature” which is a conscious decision.  But she doesn’t get to play the fashion card by judging Melania when she looks like an elephant’s ass that sat in cake.  I mean, that just doesn’t fly.

Rich Hoffman

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