Trump’s First Year as President: The difference between being a narcissist and a good leader–walking the razor’s edge between villainy and greatness

 

January 20, 2018 came and went for most people but I did go through some little celebration for the first full year of the Donald Trump presidency.  I am very proud of him and remain very happy that he took this job on because it was the only way that anything was ever going to change.  The villains of our time had embedded themselves too far into our culture to ever remove them without the strategies that Trump is employing.  Watching Saturday Night Live’s first open since the medical exam for which President Trump was more open and healthy at 71 years old than any president in history, it was very mean-spirited to pick on Trump’s weight, which in my opinion isn’t that bad. But, it’s all they have on the other side.  What makes Trump great is that he understands it.  In one of his bestselling books, Trump 101: The Way to Success the president explains to the reader “believe in yourself, exude confidence, and get in your competitor’s way.  Project yourself into their picture and upset their status quo.”  Trump understands what’s going on, and he doesn’t take it personal, because he is utilizing these leadership methods on a global scale, and it is upsetting the status quo, and that was the only way to do it peacefully, and he’s doing it, and I’m proud.

It’s a very fine line between being a loser narcissist where everything done is to make the subject about “them” and a confident leader who can make everything about them for the benefit of everyone who follows them.  It is such a razors edge that one must keep moving across it like a person walks across hot coals, because if you stop and stand, the sheer weight of your presence will drive the blades into your feet and split you in two with just the force of gravity.  I think it’s the hardest thing in the world to master, and for those who do; they become the best in their fields of whatever they are doing.  There are a lot of narcissists out there who never get it, and very few true leaders who break through to become a Tom Brady type of quarterback.  The proper way to identify the difference is with the Robert  Pirsig Metaphysics of Quality.

A narcissist in psychiatry is a personality disorder characterized by the patient’s overestimation of his or her own appearance and abilities and an excessive need for admiration. In psychoanalytic theory, emphasis is placed on the element of self-directed sexual desire in the condition.  The situation is made worse these days by the type of education we have given our young people where they’ve been taught that their parents were idiots, they should become political Democrats to show empathy for others to cover for the narcissist behavior nurtured by their public school years where everything was made about them.  At home their parents were divorcing and felt guilt over it so they spoiled the children.  At school everything was a crime producing a victim, and there was never ever any blame for bad behavior.  Everything was made into an excuse to prescribe the next drug that a pharmacy was welling to “ease” the depression.  That is how we ended up with the type of people we have in media today which only a President like Trump could have challenged and defeated.  These narcissists are the type of people who work now as writers at Saturday Night Live, and they are the assistant editors at every magazine, television broadcast, and newspaper.

Narcissists in relationships are easy to spot, they are the people who are the perpetual victims to the other party—they feel everything that happens can only be interpreted through the spectrum of their own vantage point.  For instance, when they are planning to cheat, or look for a way out of the relationship they might blame the other party for wanting to cheat, and they’ll go through elaborate measures to attempt to project their anxieties onto other people so that the reality of their fantasy might manifest into behavior which can justify their true wishes, which is to be out of the relationship.  So they’ll go through the Facebook account of their bed mate and look for the very signs of illicit behavior which they are personally guilty of so they can then built a case in ending the relationship by imposing their own emotions into the situation for which only they can interpret.  To the narcissist the nature of reality doesn’t matter, only how they interpret that reality.  So to gain control of such a relationship where they are actually the guilty party in wanting to cheat they build up the case against the other person imposing the conditions for which the narcissist is actually guilty.  This sexual example is something everyone can understand—but it can be applied to anything.  The way the media interprets the Trump presidency is a classic case of this—where everything he does is interpreted through the eyes of narcissists.  Hillary Clinton may have been guilty of all the crimes they are accusing Donald Trump for, but the narcissist tries to insert that value onto the Republican president, and when Trump refuses, they are angry about it.  It is the liberals who are the racists in America—they are the ones with the history of the behavior—not the Republicans, yet it is the GOP who have been categorized with the behavior.

I have always thought very highly of my grandparents, and they were great people.  But I had a grandfather who went through a very narcissistic period in his life.  He drank too much and ran around with crazy women and to keep my grandmother from pressing down on him and forcing him to change he imposed all his guilt on her.  He accused her of wanting to be with other men so much so that she never learned to drive a car.  He was afraid that if she had a car she’d run around town cheating on him with other men.  But in reality, the only one cheating was him and by imposing that type of chaos to the relationship it gave him a good cover story to allow his narcissistic tendencies to continue—and it kept her from looking too deeply into what he was doing.  A lot of men did this in the previous century and it is what fueled the women’s rights movement because women wanted to exact an eye for an eye—which has further exacerbated the problem in our society.  Now we have men and women doing all these bad things when traditionally it was men who were the screw ups.  A lot of that happened before I was born so I had a good relationship after all that was over.  But the effects lasted their entire lifetime, they slept in separate beds and my grandmother never really got over it.  They stayed together because that’s what the older generation did for the sake of the family—but they had lost their intimacy with one another.  That’s what narcissists do, they destroy the trust in the people around them because they make everything about them no matter what reality states and it always causes hard feelings in the people they are in relationships with.

Trump is the most literate president we’ve ever had—while the narcissists think he doesn’t read enough or isn’t intellectually engaged, it is really themselves they are talking about.  Trump is the bestselling author of a number of books which he has written.  Not even Teddy Roosevelt could say that.  Roosevelt’s Winning the West series did well, but it didn’t sell to the level of Trump’s business books.  People can argue that the quality of the writing favored Roosevelt, but Trump’s ability to cut through the nonsense has a value all its own.  I personally think the quote I shared in this article is one of the best bits of advice I’ve ever read on strategy and the power of positive thinking.  Like I said, it’s a fine line between being a narcissist and being a confident leader.  People who fall short of that glorious Metaphysics of Quality become destructive narcissists.  Not every great quarterback out there becomes Tom Brady.  They’d love to, but they never develop those extra attributes of leadership which keep the feet from slicing in half on that razor’s edge.  And with so many villains who are clinical examples of dangerous narcissists running the world right now mainly because our institutions do not yet understand the Metaphysics of Quality—only someone like Donald Trump could have a shot at defeating them.  One year into his presidency, I can see that he has everything well under control.  And for me, it was worth celebrating.

Rich Hoffman

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